Add a “two and a half” and a “two and three-quarters,” and we’re up to 6-7 opportunities to be tuned out.Įffectively, our kids have learned to ignore us–and wouldn’t we rather them listen the first time we make a request? We probably asked them once or twice before we started counting. I’ve got time.”īy counting “1-2-3,” we’re actually giving our children 3 or more chances to ignore us. Instead, they learn they have several opportunities before they have to respond to us.Įven though our blood increasingly boils each moment of a countdown, our kids’ minds read something like this: Think about it: counting to three teaches kids they really don’t have to listen the first time. Here are 4 reasons why counting “1-2-3” doesn’t stop bad habits–it prolongs them. (To discover more effective disciplinary measures, sign up right now for our FREE CLASS: Get Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Yelling, or Losing Control!) Though many of us regularly rely on this strategy, there are a few reasons why it isn’t going to help our kids–or us–in the long run. In either case, counting for compliance is not an ideal tactic. You might even have to chase him down the crowded aisle and pry the toy from his tiny, yet iron-like, fingertips. Maybe, after your final warning, Justin will budge.īut, maybe–and just as likely–he won’t. If I reach the count of 3, you’re going to be in BIG trouble!!…….” “Justin, I told you we weren’t going to buy a toy at the supermarket. You definitely don’t want to cause a scene, but you also need immediate cooperation. This is becoming a public battle of wills. Your 5-year-old remains motionless– despite your warning.Īs you raise your voice, the eyebrows of fellow bystanders raise, too. “Justin, you have three seconds to put that toy back on the shelf.” You’ve kindly asked, begged, and bribed–but he just won’t budge. Why Counting 1-2-3 Isn’t Magic (Plus 4 Tools to Use Instead)
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